Day 2: What’s On My Mind And Heart Today? My Papaw

A lot of you don’t know why I’ve been so quiet. It’s because I’ve lost to many in a year. And I feel lost without those close relationships. One of the closest jut happened…

September 8th my mom called me while I was at work. I didn’t answer of course, my boss pays me to work at work.

I had my grandpa on my mind. Maybe I should have him come in for a meal, at least I would know he would eat…I didn’t text him.

Later on a customer bought a left over Turkey tag.

“Hey, I thought, I’ll buy one too and then I can go snag Papaw and take him on a ride with me.” And I did.

I got off of work that evening and called my mom back.

“Have you heard from Papaw?” She asked

“No, I am going to be going there tomorrow.” I had plans to take him out and get some of his shopping needs taken care of.

“Can you check on him? He hasn’t been answering my calls it goes straight to voice mail.”

So I drove over to his house, walked in and found my Papaw on the floor.

Thinking he had fell I rushed over ready to make a joke about it and help him up.

When I touched his shoulder it was cold, then I noticed his blue color.

My papaw was one of my best friends. He always showed up. I don’t get much company, my Papaw was my company.

People just don’t visit. My papaw did.

He was the one I walked to about hunting, my confusions, our family, old times, good old shows, the weather, just about anything.

With papaw you didn’t expect any drama to come from anything you said to him.

He always showed up. To my cheerleading events, my tonsils being taken, when I had my baby girl, birthday parties if I had them.

My grandfather on my Dad’s side died last year. Around the same time of year, my Papaw as soon as I got home, came asking “Are you alright girl?”.

Papaw is the one who introduced me to my live of the outdoors. He would always take us fishing, then take to get a big banana split. Nancy town, in Georgia was one of our regular spot to go to.

I miss him, it’s so hard. I’ve not been in the mood to go hunt really, I just think, if I do get something..who will I tell that would actually care and be proud?

My papaw has always cheered me on, just a month ago when I told him I was going for my Personal Trainer certification, he said “Don’t forget about me when you become a millionar.”

I won’t ever forget my Papaw.

I planted tomatoes for him, he loved tomatoes. I took and ripped those plants up, no point in growing somethimy no one else would eat. They was for my papaw. The last time I saw him in person I took him a bag,he had a hard time eating them, but he was happy.

He would set his mind to something and just do it. He would say “It’s all in your head.” “Mind of matter, if you dont mind it don’t matter.”

If someone needed something, he would just do it, if he could.

If he wanted something, he would do it, so he gained his Masters degree.

I don’t know, I just want to get in the car and go visit him.

My mom asked me to write his obituary, I wrote a little something at the end.
Tall and gruff the big bear seemed, but he was as gentle as can be. A big man with eyes filled with wonder and joy. He made the world smile and the leaves waved good bye, as he walked towards a new adventure filled with an everlasting love.

The leaves waved good bye…

The 7th is when they suspect my Papaw passing.

I was out at camp with my husband, I didn’t feel right and I couldn’t tell you why. My husband’s noticed and asked.

I remember looking at a maple tree it’s leaves had turned red and was shaking in the wind, that line popped up in my head..what I was going to use it for I didn’t know, until..my momma asked me to write his obituary.

Because of the feeling I had that day, and the thoughts I had that Sunday at work, and the feelings I felt the moment I found him.

I have no doubt my God is real, angels are real, and my Papaw still looks down on me from heaven.

I just wish I could hug him. And listen to him fuss at me for dying my hair, bacause I know he would.

So, depressing it may be, all that’s on my mind is my Papaw. No one wants me to talk about him because it depressed them.

I just want to share his life with others, he isn’t forgotten.

He taught me and others around him so much. And made so many laugh.

I hope you remember when someone is sharing something about a loved one that’s no longer here, listen and soak in that story.

That story is how their memory isn’t forgotten. No one wants to be forgotten.