Life And It’s Changes

I’ve been silent for a while. I know some of you are wondering what happened and some of you know.

July was very hard, my Grandfather was diagnosed with a fast acting pancreatic cancer. As soon as I heard the news I was axious to go home to Georgia and just be with him.

I didn’t know how, seeing how every flight had been around 1,000 dollars. I had my daughter to think about, and who I couldn’t leave behind. My husband couldn’t leave his job without losing it. Emotions were everywhere.

That’s when God stepped in.

My older sister who lives in a different state calls me up. She found a flight that aligned with hers to Chattanooga Tennessee, it was only $632 for my daughter and I, but I had to leave the next day, find someone to bring me to the airport or pick my vehicle up for me.

Again God stepped in

Our friend Nathan showed up to help out offering to pick our vehicle up.

We arrived down to Georgia and the instant familiar mountains, curves, and humidity hugged me, bringing on a comfort I had not felt in a long time.

The next day we went straight to my grandfathers house, the house that grew me. The place I learned a lot about hard work and being greatful for what you have.

Not a inch of the house, the property went without some story from my childhood.

My grandfather had been pestured so many times to cut open a chestnut 🌰where the big chestnut tree use to stand tall.

Neighbored by the trailor where he stayed when we lived in his house.

I use to wait for him in the driveway. He would get off of working at the old Clakesville Mill, wearing his overhalls and caring his blue lunch pail.

My sister and I would play in the sand waiting until then, then go around the back of his trailor. He always had a Moonpie 🌛 waiting.

I liked the chocolate ones of course. My sister Brenda would go and pet his leapord . We would sit and talk to him and Betty, she was his girlfriend.

They would ask us about school, and have us read something. Making us feel so smart, and specifial.

Then he would get his auto harps out and play for us. He let us us play with one of his older ones. We would play and sing old hyms like “I’ll Fly Away”

All these memories and going into the house knowing this was the end in this world, put a huge weight on my chest. It was so hard to bare.

My Aunt Teresa was their,she embraced us with a warm hug.

she has always been so beautiful, kind, gentle, and dear to me…my hear sank with how much all of this showed on her.

Brenda and I opened the old screen door that my daddy had built so many years ago and momma painted white with blue trim. It was still marked with the hole we put in it.

My paw was sitting in his recliner, I was half expecting the usual laughter of joy that always had greated us. It wasn’t there. He was just laying there trying hard to keep his eyes open.

This was the very first time he got to meet my sweet little girl, who’s presents helped everyone in the room at that moment.

I went over and kissed his cheek after my sister. He wanted to hold Casidy, being in a strange place she of course didn’t go, but sat studying him while eating her cheese it’s.

Paw finally getting up energy to talk said “I recon’ I’ll be going to meet the good Lord soon. ” Then continued into prayer thanking God for bringing us to be with him.

My heart broke even more, reality was setting in, my Paw had the same look many of the residents I had cared for as a CNA had in their last day, it upset me .

Though we all know one day we will be their and our loved ones too, I still had never thought to see that look on one of MY loved ones.

Paw finished praying, I went over to attempted getting Casidy to hug him singing “I love you, a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck, and a hug around the neck. ” it worked she hugged him and giggled about it too, proceeding to “tickle tickle” Paw.

Paw laughed, and said “I love you. ”

And for the first time ever my little girl said those three words clear as day “I love you. ”

The rest of the time we sat and watched him sleep, and when he woke up with a bit of strength Paw just repeated over and over looking us all straight in the eye “I love you. ” those words with his voice are the greatest gift my Paw has ever given me. I hope it stays with me for ever.

This world has all of us young folks so busy and with big eyes for the shiny things in life and selfishness, that we are forgetting what is really important.

I’m guilty of it…

During my visit my Cousin Forest who is older told me a story about a time he, my grandfather, and great grandpaw Bryson. He ended it with telling me “We had nothing, no vehicles just horse and buggy, no computers, no phones likes today, just each other and love. We made time for each other and spent life with each other, nothing means more then that.”

Now, we have phones that don’t have a conversation going with the neighbors listening but we don’t call.

We have vehicles, but don’t visit

We have computers, but don’t even take the time to send a message.

Life is changing, and my visit with the old timers in my family really woke me up more than ever.

I need to change, we all do, we all need to learn to love again and what that means.

But thats just this redheads opinion.

Have a great week y’all

One of the last pictures I have with mu Grandfather taken in 2011, I was 17.

I miss him