The Ney Sayers

Pretty recently I got really hit hard with some very negative talk and actions. I am going to share with you how I am handling it. I am going to share with you a little religious perspective, though I am not one who labels myself as anything but someone who loves God. I hope you can read this with an open mind and that maybe I can help you.

Here goes…

Growing up in a Jewish family there was a common word for this, it’s called Lashon Hara. It means evil tounge.  It is not highly looked upon and is encouraged to stay away from this type of behavior. 

There is some time that I have taken to think about these recent events. I had to really look hard at myself. Why did I look at myself? Well, again growing up in a Jewish family there is something else we do. When ever we feel that someone else is acting badely or have a bad thought of someone we are taught to look at ourselves, because often times those bad things we see are things we are selves are doing.  You may have heard of this? Some refer to it as mirroring. 

As I looked at myself and some of my own behaviors what I found was not good. I found that I had been acting the way I was being treated. I was not acting like myself. I had surrounded myself by bad behaviors that was totally against everything in me, and at this point I had become something that was not ME. 

I had to change. I had to get back to being me. I had to be better. 

This is what I did.

  1. Anything good I had happen to me I just haven’t told many people. Why? Well it might provoke them to say something not so good , for what ever reason. 
  2. I have limited my personal social media profile to those who do not live by me and I never really see or visit. This way I really do just use the profiles to keep in touch.
  3. I have put a lot of focus on my family. Homeschooling my daughter, keeping are home peaceful, having conversations with my husband, working on our home, making family time priority.
  4. I have invested time in myself. I am spending more time learning about my proffesion, the things that I love to do, such as this blog, learning more how to help my body naturally with the health conditions I have, my relationship with God, my peace, working on myself morally and ethically, etc.

The main goal I have here is to just, get back to me and what is important in my life. And I want to do that without giving others the inside scoop of what I am doing. I just feel that I really need to be careful of who I allow into that personal and deep part of my life. It hurts so bad when someone you trust betrays that trust. Then you look back at what happened and you see fualt in some of your own actions as well. 

Many people around me really don’t understand it. They probably feel that I hate them and I don’t. This is for me. And if you are going through something like this, you have to remember that it is for yourself too. These new boundaries, they are for you. You can still love and be good to others, but do it in a way that isn’t going to allow for you to lose YOU. 

Bless you Babies

Bless you babies and the love you bring.

Lift your weeping head and close your eyes, listen to the song birds sing to each other the song of life.

Lessons of love and kindness are all around. You have the right to wear the crown.

The crown of happiness is not far to find, just look up and praise the maker if the sun and sky.

Bless you babies and the love you bring.

Breath in the air and let it caress the miracle string in which you sing. Realize you are the reason for someone smiling.

Gather up all that is good and make for yourself a new pair of glasses. People are ugly, but what you may see in the world is what leaves many in awe.

Bless you babies and the love you bring

Go sit in the sunshine and feel the hug of the sun and the kiss of the breeze.

Mountains are hard to climb, but remember big things are meant to be conquered.

Feeling small is a strength of humility you own and others lack. Shine bright with that fact.

Bless you babies and the love you bring.

Open your eyes and watch the dandelion dance in the wind. Small is the seed that travels so far and plants it’s beauty in the yard of many. Some mistake it as weed. While others recognize the strength of the healer.

Bless you babies and love you bring.

I hope know how loved you are. I know right now things are hard. I want the pain you feel to be taken.

Stranger you may be, but my heart and arms are wide open with nothing that is meant to harm you.

I want you to know how perfect you are. Please don’t take life for granted. Bless you babies and the life you bring.

A Seed Can Start So Much More

Memories of gardening with a little bit of meaning

The start of this year’s vegetable garden. ❤🌶🌶🌶 Has me thinking…

I’m so blessed to have grown up in a family that taught me to grow and preserve my own food.

From the womb I have been in a garden just about every summer of my life… Literally my mother will tell you about sitting in a lawn chair gardening while pregnant with me, haha

The memories I have in the garden are just amazing…

My dad and Grandpa would call up our long time family friend and neighbor Mr. Goss.

He would come over with his tractor and plow. Tilling up the field that sat surrounded by cow pastures.

I would watch him wanting a ride on that tractor so bad. Ever so often my momma would send me or my sister out to give him a glass of water. The sun was hot.

-Momma still wouldn’t allow us in shorts until it was above 75°. She was set on raising us to be ladies, little southern bells, just like all southern momma’s. –

Daddy usually used this opportunity to tell us to get out there and start picking rocks from the tilled garden. There was always rock, a never ending dreadful supply.

After we go out there in, well our sandles looking to get yelled at to put some real shoes on, hoe the rows and drop seeds.

Momma and Daddy would allow for us to pick a couple of flowers we liked to put at the head of the garden, I remember one year I chose sunflowers. I was so proud of those suckers.

My sisters and I would play Pocahontas run through the corn.

One year walking around the garden I had a deer come up behind me, and chased me all over the tarnation. It had everyone coming over to see what I was screaming about.

By the end of the season my mom and great aunt- even my grandmother when we went over Helen mountain to visit, had me and my sisters helping snapping,popping,stringing,and canning to supply the family with a winter supply every summer…

We would sneak a handful of green beans to play tea party with.. and I tell you another favorite. When the corn 🌽 was ready, my parents would allow us to go out and grab an ear off the stock to throw in the microwave to have with dinner, oh it is the best!

These memories are just a handful that make my heart smile and my soul feel at home.

Some have treated me like I’m just a stupid hick others have wondered if I was just a city person putting on, and a handful have asked me to teach them what I was brought up doing.

I know what have is a treasure.

This knowledge I have and the way I live is me carrying on a tradition that has been just a way of life for my beloved family over hundreds of years.

The memories like the ones I spouted off in no particular order are ones I hope to leave my daughter with.

My grandfather, he may be gone, and the garden is just a grass field now. All those memories though, I have of the summers in and by the garden, is the best I’ve got left of him and some of the best days of my life.

That’s something I know my daughter is getting with her grandparents. And I hope the tradition carries on and doesn’t get lost.

Because planting that seed, is just so much more.

I’m sick Poem

Many of you know,I no longer practice the Jewish religion, but recent events in Pittsburgh still stings my heart. I’ve been crying over it.

Friends have been lost because of all this useless hate we have in the world. I wish so much, I could take it all away.

Growing up as Jew I suffered a lot of antisemitism in all shapes and sizes.

My sister and I one day was walking to the perk to get a donut in the orthodox Jewish community in Milwaukee WI. Out of no where shots was fired at us along with harsh words. We were okay, but frightened. We ran back to our house and told our parents what had happened. I was 10.

This was the first time I had ever been hit in the face with how someone could be so cruel, just because I was not 100% like them.

After this many other things occurred, over,and over again.

My out was writing my feelings all in poetry.
This poem was written in frustration and pain that had all built up at the age of 19. I just wanted to share it with you.

Click link below for poem:

https://poets.media/i-m-sick-1

#standagainsthate #loveoneanother #Istandagainstantisemism #loveyourneighbor #poem #inmemoryofthosewehavelost

You Can Live On A Lot Less

Sitting in the living room of my Great Aunt Edna had me at peace in the middle of the emotional roller coaster I had been on.

It was familiar, I spent so much time doing the exact same things I was watching my daughter do. Everything had changed, but nothing had changed.

My favorite scent of wet paper towel and wood smoke with the hint of just pure cleaness still lingered. The recliner I had fought to sit in so many times still sat in it’s same ole’ spot.

It was my second home in a way. I guess many others in my family and, well anyone who had ever been to my Aunts had the same feelings when they stepped in her door way.

That is just my Aunt Edna, she always makes you feel warm,welcomed,and loved.

I admire her in so many ways and sitting in that living room with her was worth more than any gold or rubbies.

This visit had a lot of meaning though. I could tell my Aunt had a lot to say to me.

“You can live on a lot less Tashanna.” She says to me kind of out of the blue.

“Oh I know Aunt Edna I don’t have a lot of things people say they need…”

I say continuing to tell her about how I don’t have anything but antenna for TV or internet like most young folks and I budget everything.

She shakes her head

” No, what I mean shanny is… ” Shanny has always been a nick name only belonging to myself and my cousin Shannon.

She continued to tell me this story.

There was some folks that lived in a shack. They grew up working for everything they had. Dusk to dawn. They didn’t know what money really was.

They lived in a little shack, they’re counter was made of old vanilla waffer boxes and plaster. And that is what they had for a kitchen counters.

They had a refrigerator, but they didn’t have electricity, or know that they needed to plug it in. My cousin brought them canned biscuits one day and she just sat them on the counter.

The lady told my cousin when she came back they just went “poof”. That’s how little they knew about the modern-day world.

My cousin visited them up until they passed away, she was good and befriended them . A young person would have thought them to be strange. But they were happy, and they were normal, just hadn’t known anything outside of that they grew up doing to get by.

“That’s what I mean by people can live with less than what they think. My Aunt finished saying.

I finally got what my Aunt was telling me.

I needed to humble myself and would be happier if I stopped chasing material things and just loved what God had blessed me with.

A Drink With A Little Fire

I enjoy the small things in life. Today was a nice day to do that..

This evening we kept things pretty simple for a Friday. I had one of my occasional drinks with my dinner and then we headed outside and did a little spring cleaning.

My husband gathered up some scrap wood and started a fire in our fire pit. Then helped a friend of ours put a new exhaust on his motorcycle. I cleaned up my box I usually plant my tomatoes in, then took a walk outback to scope out a place where we could maybe put a play area for Casidy.

As I was outside I took a moment and just breathed in the crisp air. My mind became clear, my body relaxed.

And I just observed my surrounding. Little tracks from the squirrels sat in the snow. The trees still and tall. It was nice…

I like days like this when we kick all of that garbage aside. Put our phones away and enjoy the company of our friends..I think maybe things haven’t completely gone to crap.

It seems these days all you hear when you go out is politics. Everything’s become politics. Its worrisome.

I think we all need more time away from everything media and more time visiting..

Gosh what I’d give to have some of the things our parents have. I wish I had random company stop in just to say hello and do a little front porch sitting.

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The Outdoors,Me,And God

I lived in the bible belt. Yep, I’m a little Georgia peach who married a Yooper who now lives in the U.P. of Michigan.

I have Southern Baptist, Baptist, Nazarenes, Apostolic Pentecostals, Lutheran, Catholic and even those who practice the Jewish faith in my family.

Everyone in my family hangs on to God. They are doing their best to live life the way they see is the right way.

So, as you can imagine, I often get asked what I believe. I have those lovingly telling me how I should live and raise my daughter.

I am so blessed to have such a loving family that they all are so concerned about my soul. Once upon a time I would have gotten offended.. I know out of love they just want to make sure I’m going to heaven. I’ve been through a gravely road when it comes to my ‘religious’ beliefs.

Now though, I take a deep breath. I try to be understanding. Now, I don’t really comment on the topic, because I believe 100% it’s between me and God.

But… I guess….I am going to share a thought on the topic with you.

Let’s start with saying I don’t go to church. I go out in the woods or down by the water. All of that noise of questioning disappears. There is silence. There is piece.

Just being is probably my favorite part of being outdoors. I don’t have to worry about being judge. I feel closer to God and that is where we have our deepest conversations.

I’ve been asked many times “Aren’t you afraid of the bears,wolves,cats?”. No, I’m not. I usually have a gun on me, my husband and I do hunt together a lot of the times, and most importantly I know God is there protecting me.

Sometimes, I look at the beauty that surrounds me and I am just speechless. I thank God, I compliment him even, and I think what a wonderful gift it is to be allowed to enjoy the great outdoors.

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