Pretty recently I got really hit hard with some very negative talk and actions. I am going to share with you how I am handling it. I am going to share with you a little religious perspective, though I am not one who labels myself as anything but someone who loves God. I hope you can read this with an open mind and that maybe I can help you.
Growing up in a Jewish family there was a common word for this, it’s called Lashon Hara. It means evil tounge. It is not highly looked upon and is encouraged to stay away from this type of behavior.
There is some time that I have taken to think about these recent events. I had to really look hard at myself. Why did I look at myself? Well, again growing up in a Jewish family there is something else we do. When ever we feel that someone else is acting badely or have a bad thought of someone we are taught to look at ourselves, because often times those bad things we see are things we are selves are doing. You may have heard of this? Some refer to it as mirroring.
As I looked at myself and some of my own behaviors what I found was not good. I found that I had been acting the way I was being treated. I was not acting like myself. I had surrounded myself by bad behaviors that was totally against everything in me, and at this point I had become something that was not ME.
I had to change. I had to get back to being me. I had to be better.
This is what I did.
- Anything good I had happen to me I just haven’t told many people. Why? Well it might provoke them to say something not so good , for what ever reason.
- I have limited my personal social media profile to those who do not live by me and I never really see or visit. This way I really do just use the profiles to keep in touch.
- I have put a lot of focus on my family. Homeschooling my daughter, keeping are home peaceful, having conversations with my husband, working on our home, making family time priority.
- I have invested time in myself. I am spending more time learning about my proffesion, the things that I love to do, such as this blog, learning more how to help my body naturally with the health conditions I have, my relationship with God, my peace, working on myself morally and ethically, etc.
The main goal I have here is to just, get back to me and what is important in my life. And I want to do that without giving others the inside scoop of what I am doing. I just feel that I really need to be careful of who I allow into that personal and deep part of my life. It hurts so bad when someone you trust betrays that trust. Then you look back at what happened and you see fualt in some of your own actions as well.
Many people around me really don’t understand it. They probably feel that I hate them and I don’t. This is for me. And if you are going through something like this, you have to remember that it is for yourself too. These new boundaries, they are for you. You can still love and be good to others, but do it in a way that isn’t going to allow for you to lose YOU.